Asher, Age 12, South Dakota
ASHER: It feels like people don’t want me to be a person, or to be alive, I guess. Everywhere I go, it feels like people misgender me, or they call me slurs. It makes me sad, especially when I get misgendered, because it makes me feel that all I will ever be is a stupid girly girl. I’m not saying girls are stupid. But, you know… So I listen to a lot of music, and it helps me. It makes me feel better because a lot of the bands I like are very accepting of the LGBTQ community. It feels really empowering.
MOM: It’s disheartening. I have a lot of anger because there are so many other issues, like real issues, going on in the world and people are trying to make this a big deal when there’s no reason for it. At first, I thought “When people know better, they act better.” I thought we just needed to continue to educate everyone, but now I’m just mad. I don’t understand why people are so threatened by the existence of my child who just wants to skateboard, and who has to hold in his pee all day because can only go to the bathroom in the nurse’s office which outs him every time he has to go. It just makes me angry.
DAD: It's terrifying that we’re formalizing this hatred. Politicians have gotten to a place where they have to pass laws that outlaw my kid, and that’s very personal.
ASHER: I was tired of sitting around while this hatred was happening and all these bills were being passed, so I decided to do something about it. That’s just what I like to do – when something is unjust, I like to try to stop it. It makes me feel good because I’m doing something to create change. Sometimes I get scared that somebody’s going to do something to me, but if they did I would probably punch them in the face.
MOM: Self-defense is important.
DAD: I took Asher out for ice cream a while back after he got a pink slip for sticking up for himself and some friends.
ASHER: There was this bully who was being rude to the teacher and being rude to me, so I slapped her. My dad didn’t care, but my mom was on the fence about it.
MOM: I was on the fence. I still try to find peaceful solutions to these kinds of things, but at this point the gloves are off. The gloves are off now.
ASHER: Trans people are super valid, and they’re awesome and they should never change who they are even when people are tell them that they should.
MOM: Just be open and accepting and keep learning. Read, and educate yourself. To parents that aren’t supportive – this is your baby. You see the suicide rates for children that aren’t supported… I can’t imagine not having Ash in my life, and him not being himself. So just always be there for your kiddo. For your baby.
DAD: Really listen. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
ASHER: To all the parents that don’t support their trans kids – it is your kid, and you birthed them, and for you to not love them, that’s just terrible.