Olive, Age 16, Alabama
OLIVE: When the anti-trans laws first started getting more intense, I had just started hormone blockers and was terrified thinking about how it could all get taken away so quickly. The blockers helped my mental health so much because I’ve struggled a lot with depression over the years. I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t started my transition, but probably not in a good place. It took being in a mental hospital and getting diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria to finally get a doctor to even see me. We tried my pediatrician at first and he didn’t want to help me with my transition and my psychiatrist wouldn’t either, so we had to wait over a year to see an endocrinologist at the University of Alabama Birmingham. I finally was prescribed blockers, and hopefully in a few months I’ll be on estrogen. In order to get hormones, I have to get a signature from my therapist, my psychiatrist, and both my parents – it’s such a long process. I just want to be able to be myself without some old white politician controlling me.
I know a lot of trans people and I surround myself with my community. My partner Maxwell is not doing well mentally. He’s been in and out of the psych ward and his self-harm has been getting worse because his parents won’t allow him to transition. He lives every day knowing that he’s not supported by the people that made him, and that’s really sad.
I wish I could go into these politicians’ brains and figure out what they’re trying to do. I think if they had more understanding of what being trans actually is they probably wouldn’t be making these bills. Or maybe it’s out of a place of hatred, I really don’t know. I wish I could talk some sense into them.
MOM: Until Olive started getting death threats, I don’t think the hatred that they dealt with on a daily basis had really sunk in. There was one particular incident when a total stranger saw on Olive’s social media that they were trans. That person then called on all their social media friends to come after Olive and suddenly I’m reading messages from people in Canada and California telling Olive that they should kill themselves, and why and how to do it. That’s just gross. It took me a while to realize that Olive has to deal with this constantly. Every day that they walk through the school doors, somebody has something ugly to say. Every single day.
SISTER: I think Olive has always just been Olive, and the fact that there can be laws made that prevent people from being who they truly are is upsetting - not only for the individual, but for the family. It’s hard when you realize that your government is not behind you, especially for people who are already burdened by stereotypes. There is so much holding Olive down, they already face so much bullying and trauma that these bills are just another hurdle.
OLIVE: I heard about this project from the Magic City Acceptance Center and thought it would be cool to participate because there isn’t much representation of people assigned male at birth who are transitioning to non-binary. I just want my story to help other kids and make them feel…. I don’t know…
MOM: … You don’t want them to have to go through what you went through. I’m sure everyone will have their own struggles with their transition, but maybe your story could soften the fall for someone.
OLIVE: That’s what pisses me off about these laws - my identity being debated. It makes my blood boil to have my identity constantly be questioned.
MOM: I don’t think the lawmakers are coming from a place of hatred, I think it’s a lack of understanding and a lack of information. I think they’ve got it in their head that this is some kind of rebellion.
OLIVE: I think its arrogance.
MOM: Oh, good word! I have not heard you describe it that way. I think the best thing parents can do is give things time. Olive has not always felt that we were supportive, though we always felt that we were. Our kids have to be willing to explain things to us sometimes, and Olive’s getting pretty good at that.
OLIVE: Just try to find your people. Alabama seems like such a conservative place, but there’s always going to be an underground queer community. We’re always going to be here. Just wait until you’re 18, and when you’re 18 get out! Once you’re 18 you can be yourself and prove everyone wrong and live your best life, and for now if you feel stuck just surround yourself with good people who affirm you. I feel very privileged to have a family that’s supportive, and I can’t imagine knowing that the people who made you aren’t happy with the way you were made. My existence is often belittled and put down, but by my family? I would lose my mind.
MOM: I very much support who Olive is, and as a parent I just want Olive to be a good person.