Ora, Age 16, Illinois
ORA: I came out when I was nine or 10. Even though other people see gender as something that's a really serious topic, I've always just kind of existed being the way that I am and I can't necessarily help it. Gender is something that's influenced by many things and for me, being neurodivergent is one of the biggest things that influences it. There's nothing I can do to change myself. So, I don't really bother, you know? I remember a few years back hearing about anti-trans laws and even then, I wasn't surprised. It's something that you get used to and it's kind of sad.
MOM: When they said to me “Mom, what would you think if I told you I didn't feel like a girl?” I was like, I love you either way. And Ora even said to their sibling, “How would you feel if I told you that I don't want to be your sister?” And he's like, “I love you and it doesn't matter.” I love my child unconditionally, but I realized that I had to bury the gender expectations that I had, and there was a part of me that was sad. And I was surprised by that.
ORA: It's become really normal for queer people to have to change themselves. Like when they go out in public spaces versus in queer spaces. That's just been a thing that I've learned to do. I hear transphobic stuff like all the time, but I try not to let it get to me ‘cause the entire government is basically saying “Hey all of you who have gone through so much, we don’t care. Even if you’re kids, we don’t care.” People are either going to be really hateful towards you because you're trans, or they're going to think that your entire life is like a huge, glorious moment. That everything you do is so beautiful. Sometimes people who aren’t trans see us as a specimen, a creature. I don't feel any different than I did when I was cis. I'm just more comfortable. I'm how I've always been.
MOM: The simplest way to become an advocate or ally is to normalize pronouns. It's not to say that you're making a huge statement by sharing your pronouns, but it's ultimately that you're taking an active role in protecting the next generation. That's one action that we as individuals can actively take. I'm sure it's absolutely exhausting to have your gender questioned on a day-to-day basis. It must be absolutely exhausting. But for the kids out there, know that you’re seen. There's a whole community that absolutely loves you unconditionally. It takes a lot of courage, but hang in there. You're not alone. There's a lot of people that love you exactly the way you are. You're beautiful.