Steve, Age 14, Kentucky
STEVE: I don’t like these laws. From the information I’ve gathered, and what I’ve talked to my parents about, it doesn’t sound like they’re really supporting the people who are trans, or NB, or anything in between, gender fluid, all that good stuff. It makes me mad. I wouldn’t say I feel hurt, but it definitely hurts the community. It’s like they’re choking the community, trying to squeeze out people who are NB, trans, gender fluid. Trying to restrict who we are just because they don’t accept it. When I first heard about the laws it definitely affected my mental state a little bit, but I’ve stood my ground and stayed as strong as I can. I have a supportive family, a supportive group of friends online, I’m proud of myself, I’m not going to be shot down by others’ opinions. My voice is louder than theirs.
MOM: I think they were born with this sense of self confidence. They’ve always been a star who loves to be the center of attention. So when they see something that’s close to their heart, they want to champion it. They’ve always been a confident person, and we want to continue encouraging that because they are amazing.
That being said, there’s a lot of anxiety for the safety of our kids because we care, and we only want the best for the children no matter how they identify or who they feel they are. I’ve told Steve they could change to every color in the rainbow for all I care, they’re still the amazing person we love. It hurts my heart to know that they might have to face hatred out there. I don’t want that for them. I want better. They deserve the best.
Some family members hold some harmful opinions based around religion, and I would rather my kid not be exposed to that so we aren’t as close to everyone as we could be. We were supposed to get together with family for my mom’s birthday, and I found out that when they were looking at pictures of my babies and my niece they said “Well at least one of them knows they’re a girl” and I don’t want that around my kids. That’s not ok. There’s nothing wrong with my kid. They don’t deserve to be around that. They have such a strong mind, and I don’t want it torn down by people who have trash opinions.
STEVE: I’m not going to be torn down.
DAD: I feel the exact same way. Getting rid of family and friends – it feels like they don’t care, so why should we care about them? We cut them out of our lives completely, people I’ve known for fifty years. I don’t talk to ‘em anymore because of that, and it hurts but it hurts even more that they talk the way that they do about my kids and other people in the community. It’s easier to get rid of them than it is to get rid of my kids.
BROTHER: It makes me feel like there are people trying to go after my sibling, and it makes me feel mad.
STEVE: I know some people struggle because of their family’s beliefs, but it feels empowering getting to express my opinion freely. At least in this country we’re allowed to do that now. Just don’t give up. You got this. Don’t let others bring you down.
MOM: Parents are the difference makers in their kids’ lives. You are their first safe place, and sometimes you’re their only safe place so I hope that you continue to give them the love and support that they need because when they flourish it makes everyone’s lives better, not just theirs.
I know Steve didn’t get to mention this, but they start their hormone journey in August. We’ll meet with a therapist, and then in September we’ll reevaluate. They’re very excited for that and we are very excited for them to continue being themselves. And we’re happy to support them.
STEVE: I’m excited because I don’t want to look like I’m female, I want to look more masculine or neutral. It feels like that’s me.
MOM: I’m scared though, because I heard about a law – I think it was in Alabama – where they’re trying to make it so that the families of trans children are forced to reverse the hormone process and that’s just a nightmare to me. To know that we’re this close to getting them to where they’re happy and the most comfortable in who they are, that someone who knows nothing about our family could step in and say “Hey you’re not making the right decision for yourself.” But how do you know? You don’t even know Steve. How can you know what’s the best decision, and how can you undue all the effort and work that we go through to make them happy…
DAD: ... all based off their cooky definition of their religion.